1: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:15:05 0
Nothing unrealistic such as if you started dating her or something, got it!?
11: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:20:18 0
What if you were celebrating Sayu by repeatedly tossing her into the air with everyone else and you put your utmost effort into trying to turn her around mid-air so that she was facing downwards?
14: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:20:45 0
When will you ever get an opportunity to toss her into the air?!?!?
25: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:24:50 0
What about when you’re trying to resuscitate her after she’d just drowned?
There’s even the added bonus of getting to kiss her.
28: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:26:02 0
Hey, that’s a good one! I’d never even thought of it!
… Except that it’ll never happen!!!!!!!!!!!!
30: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:27:09 0
Loving the fired-up tsukkomi. (laughs)
59: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:41:35 0
The problematic thing about this is that it’ll of course be illegal if you don’t know each other. Even if you’re acquaintances it’ll often still be illegal, and there are some situations where it’d be illegal even if you two were lovers.
Taking all that into account, you’ll reach the conclusion that you’ll only be able to touch them if you’re in a certain public service field of work. You’d need to be something like a doctor, immigration control, a policeman or a fireman.
261: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:37:07 0
Q. What’s an occupation that you think is seriously amazing?
Iida: “Architect. They just really seem amazing to me…”
Yaguchi: “Doctor. Doctors save people’s lives and are really, really smart. I really respect them!!”
Yoshizawa: “Self-defence force.”
Tsuji: “Window cleaner.”
Kago: “Imitator. ♪”
Konno: “Hmmm… manager. Also, farmer.”
Ogawa: “Takarazuka. ☆”
Niigaki: “Manager. ♪ This is because I always feel really indebted to them! Managers are amazing.”
Fujimoto: “Hospital doctor.”
Kamei: “Police!! Because they put their lives on the line for work. ☆”
Michishige: “Doctor. They can help all kinds of people. ☆”
Seems like becoming a doctor would be a good bet.
67: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:44:19 0
How about becoming her stylist? You’d of course have to fool everyone into thinking you’re gay though.
71: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:45:03 0
The problem for all of you guys though would be the monumental obstacle of lack of style.
72: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:45:03 0
You know, I kind of think it might just work out somehow if you knelt down on the ground and just begged her.
79: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 21:47:59 0
If you went to her like “I’m way cuter than you! And my boobs are bigger, too!“, Michishige would probably take you seriously and go “What?! No way!!” Then you could just say “Oh yeah? Wanna compare?!” She would, without a doubt, take you up on it.
111: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:08:30 0
The thing to focus on here is the “legal” part. What we need to do is change the laws on this.
114: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:14:58 0
How long do you suppose it’d take to change such a law? I want to get to it before this feeling cools down.
122: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:21:31 0
We’ll never be able to pass a law that could disregard fundamental human rights.
Thus, we must first revise the constitution.
129: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:45:53 0
Why don’t we just clone Sayu? Everyone could have their very own Sayu.
130: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:46:58 0
A clone won’t do iiiiiiittttt!!!
I want the real thiiiiiiinnnggg!!!
134: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:51:09 0
Cloning people is illegal, too.
136: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 22:53:58 0
What if you got sick with an illness that would kill you unless you fondled Sayu’s boobs?
142: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:00:24 0
I just thought of something. What if you got hit by lightning and suddenly you’d switched souls with Sayu?
145: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:01:57 0
But then you’d just be touching your own boobs. It’d be pretty meaningless. I’d at least want to switch souls with Mikitty or Eririn and then fondle Sayu’s boobs.
151: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:11:06 0
I decided to just settle for a girl who looks like Sayu.
152: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:13:05 0
And you call yourself a man?!?!?
156: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:18:01 0
Me: “Sayu, you’re being targeted by aliens!”
Me: “Yes, and there’s only one way they’re going to stop targeting you!”
Sayu: “What do I have to do?”
Me: “They’ll give up if you just let me fondle your boobs.”
Sayu: “Okay. Do it then.”
160: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:19:47 0
But how are you going to legally get into a situation where you can have this conversation with her?
169: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:42:31 0
171: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/05(金) 23:43:29 0
The most difficult one thus far.
205: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:10:12 0
How about me and Sayu entering the same train by coincidence, and there’d be this drunken man harassing her who I’d do away with… what do you think about a story like that?
206: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:11:15 0
I think copyright infringement.
221: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:16:47 0
How will you get close to Sayu?
How will you get Sayu’s permission?
And with Sayu being a minor, how will you get Sayu’s guardians’ permission?
223: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:17:40 0
Oh yeah, she’s a minor.
Another obstacle makes its appearance…
228: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:20:23 0
Yeah. The thing with minors is, if you’re unlucky, you might get charged with indecent behavior even if you had her permission.
243: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:28:46 0
How about leaping towards an oncoming car in front of Sayu and then asking her if you could just fondle her boobs before you die? The kind-hearted Sayu would surely let you.
244: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:30:12 0
I can’t love Sayu if she’s not the type of person who wouldn’t say something like “You’re disgusting. Just die already.“
245: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:30:29 0
That might just actually be legal.
246: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:31:14 0
Disturbing road traffic is an illegal offense.
278: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:44:09 0
Her boobs remain guarded thus far.
God damn you, law, you magnificent bastard.
281: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/08/06(土) 00:45:25 0
Okay, I’m convinced: the constitution of Japan was created for the sole purpose of protecting Sayu’s boobs.
A daily life of receiving persistent,
never-ending torment from Sayu
1: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:12:44 0
A life of having garbage scattered all over the entrance of your front door.
But if it was Sayu doing it, wouldn’t it be lovely?
2: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:13:13 0
You’re a genius.
3: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:13:20 0
Discovering remains of dead cats that have been left there.
26: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:21:31 0
从*・ ｡.・)ノ＜ Are you sleepy?
从*・ ｡.・)ノ＜ Then let Sayu sing you a lullaby.
27: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:22:23 0
Every now and then she’d call Ishikawa and Konno as special guests, too.
45: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:34:24 0
Her inserting instant glue into the keyhole of your car door would be great.
58: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:39:02 0
Sayu doing singing practice in the middle of the night.
81: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:54:16 0
While you were sleeping she’d have welded shut the entrance.
83: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 22:55:55 0
Sayu would call you to her place. When you went over, it’d be a murder scene and you’d just become the main suspect.
108: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:04:50 0
She’d read your fan letters aloud during concerts.
121: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:08:03 0
She’d marry you, but she’d never allow you to have sex with her. Not even once. Instead, she’d get pregnant with another man’s child.
122: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:08:21 0
She’d empty all the batteries in every remote controller in the house.
123: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:08:52 0
Sayu purposefully eating the cake I’d been looking forward to eating myself.
124: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:08:52 0
She’d replace all the CD’s I own with versions of herself singing the songs.
129: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:09:48 0
I’d find the jam bun I bought earlier only to see that the jam has disappeared.
140: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:12:14 0
She’d send illustrations to Famitsu’s reader submissions using my name.
161: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:23:03 0
Whenever I’d be silently humming to myself, she’d suddenly appear out of nowhere and start singing loudly on top of me.
166: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:26:22 0
Sayu changing the angles of our drawers so that they’d be easier for me to accidentally smash my little toes against.
174: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:28:55 0
She’d start playing our PlayStation right after eating some potato chips and not washing her hands.
193: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 23:36:22 0
She’d burn you a 700MB CD with nothing but a single 100kB picture of herself.
336: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/23(金) 01:03:34 0
But that’s the Sayu I love.
Sayu vs. convenience stores
1: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:24:41 0
I gave it a lot of thought but at the end of the day, losing convenience stores would hurt too much. Thus, convenience stores win.
2: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:25:11 0
Convenience stores aren’t nice and squishy like Sayu, so they lose.
25: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:38:53 0
I can enjoy myself just looking at Sayu, but with convenience stores you have to pay money for them to be any fun at all.
26: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:39:16 0
You can stand around and read magazines at convenience stores. You can’t stand around and read Sayu.
33: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:43:34 0
Sayu starts getting sleepy at around 10, but convenience stores are always open. I guess they win this one.
50: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:52:44 O
Rather than having a convenience store close by, I’d prefer having Sayu close by. Thus, Sayu.
56: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:55:50 0
Convenience stores always have the latest goods on sale whereas Sayu just keeps on wearing those lame old clothes.
60: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 02:58:02 0
Yeah, but Sayu’s always wearing pink. I’ve never seen a convenience store where the employees wear pink.
78: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:04:10 0
Wouldn’t Sayu shopping at a convenience store be like the best of both worlds?
112: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:13:10 0
It looks to me like you guys know very little about Sayu, but you’re very knowledgeable about convenience stores.
119: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:15:07 0
Sure, at convenience stores they say “welcome” and “thank you“, but Sayu says stuff like “I’m the cutest in the world” or “nyan nyan nyan“!! They’re no match for each other. It’s rude to even compare them! You guys better all apologize to Sayu.
120: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:15:42 0
139: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:20:17 0
I have no interest in convenience store couplings, but I do like Sayu/Eri.
161: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 03:25:47 0
Convenience stores have all these unkempt looking dudes working there late at night, but Sayu is Sayu 24/7.
219: 名無し募集中。。。 2005/09/22(木) 16:29:39 0
Sayu might try to warm up my lunch box by pressing her boobs against it, but on the other hand, just having it warmed up in the microwave would be faster… This is a tough one.
Henkka: That first thread might just be one of the most thoughtful ones I’ve translated so far. It’s really heartwarming to see how 2ch can unite in working together towards a common goal when it’s for a noble cause.
Oh, and notice the 2005 timestamps? Just in case you missed these tweets:
Starting very soon, alongside the 2014 threads I'm also going to start translating more old threads (old meaning pre-2013).
— Wota in Translation (@wotatranslation) April 13, 2014
How old? Well, I'm going through archives of some matome sites dating as far back as 2006… Look forward to it if old stuff's your thing.
— Wota in Translation (@wotatranslation) April 13, 2014
Sources: http://blog.livedoor.jp/okamip/archives/29742676.html, http://blog.livedoor.jp/okamip/archives/50072183.html, http://blog.livedoor.jp/okamip/archives/50071313.html
I wonder if crowd surfing is a thing/legal in Japan. If Sayu decides to crowd surf, things would probably get really bad hehe I don’t think she’ll make it back to the stage…atleast not without losing parts or all of her costume haha oh gosh my sick mind after reading so much 2ch translations lol love your work :)
Wonder if any of these fellows posting in 2005 are still around, now that’s she’s 24. ;)
Sayu wota once…Sayu wota for life
Hmmm this is when Shige sama was in the Narcissistic poisonous bunny era of her life… Back then she was the devil, would say the meanest things possible but in a way u couldnt even get mad, pure genius…
An ’05 Sayu would be impossible to grope or accidentally touch the boobs… She would see it coming a mile away and then mercilessly taunt and ridicule you for being a loser for even thinking of trying lol… Those people from that thread would have to time travel to the 2014 Sayu cause that one is an angel who’s only desire is to make others happy, she might willingly do it with a little heart felt persuasion
I think “idols and convenience stores” is better than “apples and oranges”.
Thanks as always Henkka…. I know you don’t do requests but I hope we get some old Kamei-chan threads in there :)
Come back tomorrow or so. I might have something for you.
I know what to say on the next handshake event now, thanks >156.
This is when Sayu was still pure and not a perverted loli-chaser like now. XD
So here’s the answer: dress like a loli, and Sayu will let you fondle her (and perhaps more!!)
However, you’d still have to pass as a loli to pull that off…
…but I’m sure we’ll find the solution with enough rigorous testing!
…any volunteers? >_>
I love how the post about grabbing Sayu’s boobs says “Nothing unrealistic such as if you started dating her or something, got it!?” yet all the posts seem to involve changing the constitution, cloning her, or getting struck by lightning and switching bodies with her.
But for these guys, dating a girl so you can touch her boobs is too unlikely to be considered.
Honestly, we’d have better luck revising the laws or cloning versus being able to date an idol.
Dating an idol is pretty much pure fantasy.
Especially for the type of people (wotas) that post on Japanese message boards…
…the same goes for people (also wotas) that post on Websites that translate those Japanese message boards nearly 8 years later…
i wonder if aitor will start complaining about this translation
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I felt like I was reading a Rose Quartz thread with that second topic.
You can pretty much just substitute every instance of “Sayu” with “KanaTomo” and it’d have almost the same effect.
Most of those examples, especially the murder scene one, would probably be a reality if Rose Quartz was involved. =D
Be a Loli
Touch Sayu’s Boobs
Time and effort of these imaginative wotas had been wasted.
It had to be done…
Old threads?! Do I look like a damn time traveller?
Aw hell, who am I kidding…FOR SAYUUU!
Laugh so hard at 152 and 281 in the first thread xD
This is Sayu we’re talking about, if you’re a cute girl then you’re set lol