Part Two: “Maro’s Old Food Court”
Writers Yuzuki Asako and Asai Ryo
profile the lyrics of Hello! Project songs!
Song #1: S/mileage – “Suki-chan”
Yuzuki: While I’ve always liked ANGERME and how “cultural” their songs are, I actually knew nothing about early S/mileage. I was caught by surprise listening to this song in preparation for this discussion.
Asai: They were a very orthodox idol group. They were pretty much the same height, they all wore miniskirts, and they had such a nice balance as a group. They weren’t very H!P-like.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the “official” subtitles on H!P songs are fucking atrocious.
Every time H!P puts out a new music video, the fans don’t even flinch anymore, no matter what sort of stupid shit is thrown their way in the form of these awful subtitles. They’re so inexcusably horrible, people can’t even be bothered to make jokes about them at this point. (Well, most of the time…)
No one likes a strange and downright incomprehensible, awful translation. But to make matters worse, the H!P translations are also full of inaccuracies — that is to say, flat-out mistranslations.
Note: See here before reading.
Part One: “Incessant Praise Paradise”
Picking up from where they left off in their highly praised feature in the
Hello! Project COMPLETE ALBUM BOOK!
In this new, bi-monthly series, writers Yuzuki Asako and Asai Ryo
profile the lyrics of Hello! Project songs!
Song #1: Morning Musume ’15 – “Sukatto My Heart”
Yuzuki: So the A-side for this single was “Oh my wish!” What did you think about this release?
Asai: Honestly, for me, I easily liked “Sukatto My Heart” better. Hands down.
Inuyama Kamiko. Oda Sakura oshi. Wife.
Tsurugi Mikito. “In the end… Michishige.” Husband.
Hello! Project today seems to be popular even among couples. Naturally, however, you rarely hear about the types of private conversations that happen between these “H!P couples.” Do they argue about their favorite members? Do they think about wanting to have their child join H!P…?
The married couple of Tsurugi and Inuyama, both passionate H!P fans, invited us to their home to have a thorough discussion about these kinds of subjects.
— Our theme today is “matrimonial happiness through H!P!” First of all, I want to begin by noting how it seems like are much more females at H!P concert venues these days. More and more couples have started popping up as well.
Tsurugi: Among the married couples I know, many of them are, indeed, H!P fans. Now that you mention it, it could be true that that sort of thing is becoming more common.
Never underestimate an incomplete woman!
I have a minor problem that I’ve been trying to figure out.
It would seem that my taste in women is quite removed from the standards of most people out there. Whenever we hold auditions and I say about someone, “alright, this girl is going through!“, I can always hear the booing from the studio and the general public.
Thinking back, I’ve always gotten similar reactions even from my juniors. Whenever I had a girl I fancied in school, I’d mention it to my friends. “What do you think about that one? She’s pretty cute, right?” My friends would then look at me as if I was kidding. “What? Her? There are so many girls that are cuter than her. Why her of all people?” Even though in my mind this girl was absolutely the number one.
It’s true that I do have a large “strike zone.” I mean, I even like girls who aren’t cute. There were cases where I suppose it was no wonder my friends would dismissively call the girl I fancied by just “her.” Quite often, though, when I’d ask them what they thought of a specific girl, I’d be thinking about her not as she was then, but about how she might turn out in the future. As proof of that, there have been many examples of me setting my sights on a specific classmate or an idol who didn’t get any appreciation to speak of, who then went on to change into someone completely different. The more I hear people saying I have bad taste in women, the more confident I feel that I’m making the right choices.
I’ll give you an example.
Nothing affects men more than an imperfect smile!
The power that a woman’s smile possesses is truly remarkable.
There are many different kinds of smiles for many different kinds of situations. Each one of them can excite you, or tug at your heartstrings, or make you go “oh you little…!” and have you experience an overwhelming urge to just hug them.
When I come across a person with a pure smile that comes straight from the heart, I think to myself, “man, that’s so nice.” The smile a girl will have on her face when she wins at sports — is there anything better than that? And when it is a smile born under those kinds of circumstances, the person showing it is usually covered in sweat or dirt and they’re all messy. But even so, they just look adorable. They could be covered in mud for all I care — I’d still happily rub cheeks with them just to share in their joy. The smiles of the winning team at sports festivals… The smile of someone who’s just scored a strike when bowling… The smile of a person who’s eating something delicious and it just shows on their face as a smile. I adore them all.
Similarly, the smiles of Morning Musume when they took the first prize were so lovely. Me, I’m always the cynic — I could never be that genuinely delighted about it, no matter what sort of an award I’d received. “This isn’t going to last. There must be a catch to something as nice as this.” To someone like me, a smile like that would be impossible to replicate. I’m the sort of person who’d have to stare in the mirror, wondering “how does one smile as happily as that?“
You can see why I’m so easily drawn to those sorts of pure smiles.
Lots of women are fun for play,
but when it’s time to marry…
Don’t you find that in any one class in school, there’s always that one girl who everyone calls “mother” or “mom“?
“Mom” is one of those nicknames that tends to stick even if the girl in question was to transfer classes. In fact, even if she changes schools altogether and is surrounded by people she doesn’t know, her new classmates will soon have adopted for her the nickname of “mom” just the same. The characteristics for girls like that tend to include roundish features, a light complexion, and a bright, warm aura. She’s also broad-minded, she takes care of the people around her, and she has a sort of heartiness about her.
Girls like that might not be terribly pleased about being called “mom.” “Why won’t everyone call me by (name)-chan?” “I’m only 16 years old…” But it’s really nothing to worry yourself over. People calling you “mom” is not the same as them calling you an old auntie. If anything, being called “mom” is a compliment — in fact, it’s a sign of popularity.
To begin with: all guys out there are more or less mommy’s boys. No guy out there dislikes a motherly girl. It’s often said that when guys begin to think it’s embarrassing to depend on their mothers, that’s when they first fall in love with someone. In other words, guys spend their whole lives in pursuit of a mother figure. When it becomes too embarrassing to rely on their mothers, they look at girls closer to their own age, unconsciously seeking for a replacement to their mothers.
And indeed: once more they are back to sucking on a breast.
It’s way cooler to be ugly
than it is to be just “kind of” cute!
In the eyes of society, almost all of the girls who are well-liked are the ones who are sociable, have big eyes, great bodies, fast feet, and are always within the top three most popular girls in class.
But let’s say there were 20 girls in a class — I’ve always been someone who’d probably fall for something like the 12th cutest girl of those 20. I like the girls who society might deem “ugly.” If you asked me why I like ugly girls, it might be a bit hard to explain as it’s all a matter of taste, but I guess what it all comes down to is: if they have that one charm point about them, I can forgive everything else.
It feels like society itself is going through a kind of “ugliness boom” right now. A part of it is because of how R&B got so popular. ’99 was definitely the peak year of this “ugliness boom” in Japan. It feels like all those R&B and “afro groups” specifically tried to make themselves look uglier. Taiyou to Ciscomoon’s Shinoda Miho might be an example of this. To me, Shinoda was the first person to succeed in popularizing ugliness.