The gradual appeal of a highly self-conscious woman

You probably know this already, but I happen to like women who are exceptional.

Even when I was in kindergarten, I would spare no effort in trying to attract the attention of girls around me. I would be challenging all types of different girls. But even for someone like me there’s one type of girl who I’m not very good at dealing with, and that’s someone who comes across as being highly self-conscious. That’s not to say I dislike girls like that; it’s simply that I’ll find myself arbitrarily deciding, “someone like her probably wants nothing to do with someone like me.“

I feel that Abe is most likely that type of a girl.

What sorts of things would make me think that a girl was highly self-conscious? First of all, one characteristic of girls like that is that most of the time they’re very serious in nature. Even when they’re with their male friends they never get too crazy — they never forget to remain at least somewhat graceful and mild-mannered.

Also, they have an air about them that makes it feel like it wouldn’t be okay to lightly whack them on the head if they were being silly. If the members were all just ordinary friends of mine, I could easily picture myself giving a head whack to girls like Yaguchi or Iida for example. But with Abe, I just don’t think I could. Someone like Moritaka Chisato is like that, too — no matter which way you look at it, doesn’t it just feel strange to even think about giving a whack to someone like Moritaka Chisato? To give another example: I could see myself whacking Utada Hikaru’s head, but the bar would be set much higher with Amuro Namie’s head. I could probably give Hamasaki Ayumi a poke — not an especially strong one, just something to convey that she was being silly.

I wonder where these individual differences between girls come from?

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Nothing affects men more than an imperfect smile!

The power that a woman’s smile possesses is truly remarkable.

There are many different kinds of smiles for many different kinds of situations. Each one of them can excite you, or tug at your heartstrings, or make you go “oh you little…!” and have you experience an overwhelming urge to just hug them.

When I come across a person with a pure smile that comes straight from the heart, I think to myself, “man, that’s so nice.” The smile a girl will have on her face when she wins at sports — is there anything better than that? And when it is a smile born under those kinds of circumstances, the person showing it is usually covered in sweat or dirt and they’re all messy. But even so, they just look adorable. They could be covered in mud for all I care — I’d still happily rub cheeks with them just to share in their joy. The smiles of the winning team at sports festivals… The smile of someone who’s just scored a strike when bowling… The smile of a person who’s eating something delicious and it just shows on their face as a smile. I adore them all.

Similarly, the smiles of Morning Musume when they took the first prize were so lovely. Me, I’m always the cynic — I could never be that genuinely delighted about it, no matter what sort of an award I’d received. “This isn’t going to last. There must be a catch to something as nice as this.” To someone like me, a smile like that would be impossible to replicate. I’m the sort of person who’d have to stare in the mirror, wondering “how does one smile as happily as that?“

You can see why I’m so easily drawn to those sorts of pure smiles.

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