Searching For The Right Treatment
On the TNM staging system, my laryngeal cancer was diagnosed as being T2, also known as Stage II. Not the initial phase, but early nevertheless. I did learn, though, that the way your stage is diagnosed is actually all up to the doctor’s interpretation.
The name of my illness: “squamous cell carcinoma of the vocal cords.”
“What the heck is that?” Well, it’s more commonly known as just laryngeal cancer.
What I needed to do was start thinking about how I wanted to have it treated, but my brain wasn’t able to process the information at all. “It’s happening to me…? This has got to be a lie…” These were the only thoughts running through my head. “And I took such good care of my health! I quit smoking ages ago! I’m only 45 years old! What did I do wrong?!” I was thinking about my past, trying to find the culprit.
At the same time, I also had to think about the worst case scenario: what could I leave my kids if something was to happen to me? What are the words I should leave my wife with? It didn’t feel right to be imagining such a dreadful future, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing so.
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