Lots of women are fun for play,
but when it’s time to marry…
Don’t you find that in any one class in school, there’s always that one girl who everyone calls “mother” or “mom“?
“Mom” is one of those nicknames that tends to stick even if the girl in question was to transfer classes. In fact, even if she changes schools altogether and is surrounded by people she doesn’t know, her new classmates will soon have adopted for her the nickname of “mom” just the same. The characteristics for girls like that tend to include roundish features, a light complexion, and a bright, warm aura. She’s also broad-minded, she takes care of the people around her, and she has a sort of heartiness about her.
Girls like that might not be terribly pleased about being called “mom.” “Why won’t everyone call me by (name)-chan?” “I’m only 16 years old…” But it’s really nothing to worry yourself over. People calling you “mom” is not the same as them calling you an old auntie. If anything, being called “mom” is a compliment — in fact, it’s a sign of popularity.
To begin with: all guys out there are more or less mommy’s boys. No guy out there dislikes a motherly girl. It’s often said that when guys begin to think it’s embarrassing to depend on their mothers, that’s when they first fall in love with someone. In other words, guys spend their whole lives in pursuit of a mother figure. When it becomes too embarrassing to rely on their mothers, they look at girls closer to their own age, unconsciously seeking for a replacement to their mothers.
And indeed: once more they are back to sucking on a breast.
Just looking at all the working fathers in society, it’s easy to see how all men love moms. When they stop by at the bar after work, a part of it is of course because they just want a drink. But so many of them are also there to meet with the mama-san. Whether places like that are successful or not depends largely on whether the mama-san has appeal or not. Almost without exception, at the places where the mama-san attracts a large number of regulars, she surely scores a perfect 10 on the “motherliness scale.” It’s not about her looking pretty, or voluptuous, or sexy. She needs to be able to give the dads a good scolding when needed. The guy will be complaining about something that happened at work that day, and the mama-san will gently tell him off. “That was your fault.” Even the dads all seek comfort in that kind of motherliness.
When you look at something like the eternal theme of “discord between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law,” it’s easy to see just how deep men’s love for their mothers goes. That “daughter-in-love/mother-in-law battle” starts when the man is put between the wife and his mother, and usually the reason for it is the man’s love of his mother. Yes, there may be something deeper causing friction between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law as well, but fundamentally, what it all comes down to is the wife’s jealousy towards those bonds — the loving relationship — between her husband and his mother.
A man’s desire to fawn on his mother throughout his whole life is something that is very close to being a natural instinct to him. It simply can’t be helped. I think women, too, know that there’s nothing to be done about it, and that may be why women tend to feel an animosity towards other women who fall into that “motherly” category. It’s important to let men have that one thing to them. But when you think about it, it’s not just a guy thing. Could anyone deny the greatness of mothers? Probably most everyone out there has had experiences as a child when they’ve thought, “As expected, mom!” “You’re so great, mom!“
I’m no different. In our household, mom had to raise me and my two brothers, so there have been countless of times that make me think back on how great mom was. For example, our mom would put my smaller little brother in front of the bicycle, me and my other little brother in the back, and then she’d pedal for fifteen minutes straight over to our swimming school. That sort of hardship is but one of many everyday struggles for a mother. Raising three mischievous boys while keeping them in check like that must’ve taken her an immense amount of willpower.
Back then, I only thought of it as something obvious. “That’s just the way mothers are. She’s mom — of course she can do all that.” But looking back on it now, that greatness isn’t lost on me anymore. When I start dating a girl, I think to myself, “could this girl be capable of what my mom did?” Unsurprisingly, girls who give me the feeling that they could don’t appear very often. On the other hand, when I come across a girl who makes me go “now this girl just might be able to…”, they’re always the motherly type. When someone calls a girl like that “mom,” I feel that it’s often the girl herself giving off that aura of reliability.
But nevertheless, there must be a lot of girls out there who hate being called that by their classmates. I wonder if it’s because they think that it means people around them don’t see them as feminine? Sure: the word “mom” isn’t generally equated with descriptions like “sexy” or “cute.” When you’re young, most boys tend to be attracted to the gyaru types or the charming types of girls, so the girls who are thought of as motherly are often not treated as the idols in their class. But even so, I think those motherly qualities are definitely one important aspect of popularity.
Even with the guys who are attracted to those gyaru types, when they reach the age when it’s time to start thinking about marriage, there’s a good chance they might end up choosing that motherly type instead. When it’s time to start a family and start building a household, I would think that rather than cute looks it’s the motherly qualities that earn women much more points. Men will also be thinking about their future children, and they will look at women with the mindset of, “if this girl became a mother, would she be good to my children?” Even for younger girls, having those motherly characteristics is definitely something that attracts men of that age. It may be a good idea to not only go for men your age, but to broaden your scope a little bit.
When guys date a motherly girl, she’s the type who will prepare his chopsticks for him without him even realizing it. When they go shopping for clothes together, she’ll probably tag along. When the guy’s trying to pick which clothes to buy, the motherly girl might not say much, but in her heart she’s thinking, “if I was your mom, I’d tell you to buy this one.” But of course, since the motherly girl also has the fashion sense of a mom, her suggestions might be a little off anyway.
On the other hand, the girl who would, in the same situation, bluntly say “Don’t buy that! Get this one instead!” isn’t so much mother-like as she is aunt-like. Motherly girls are fine. But aunt-like girls? They can run into a bit more trouble. See, there’s a slight difference between “mother-like” and “aunt-like.” The aunties are the girls in class who gather in groups of three or four, noisily guffawing together about something or the other the whole day. Those kinds of girls don’t feel the least bit of shyness — they aren’t even really “girls” in a sense. There’s something shameless about them; something about them that just screams “girl who’s going to become one of those women who mow down people as they scream and run past them to try and get all the best deals at the bargain sale.“
Compared to the motherly girls, these girls are more self-centered and brazen, so they tend to be quite removed from any real popularity in class. In comparison, the mom always thinks in terms of “for the sake of my children” or “for my husband” — she’s always doing something for others. She has an air of being caring and mindful of others.
Having debuted as a member of Taiyou to Ciscomoon, Kominato Miwa is a genuine, authentic mom.
Following her debut, Kominato underwent a noticeable change into a more gyaru-like girl, closer to her actual age. She’s said things like how she wants to try going to a mixer; how she’s remodeled her room. She was going wild about Oda Yuji when they appeared on “POP JAM” with him. Of course she’s still always thinking about her child first though, and whenever she has a day off, she always goes straight back home to look after her child. With that said, having gotten married at the passionate age of 17, there may be a part of her that has been trying to take back her youth.
Still, she is a true “mom,” which means she’s not quite the same as other gyaru-like girls her age, and it was fun seeing hints of that popping up every now and then. For example, when she was going wild about Oda Yuji, she looked girlish at first. But when I stopped to think about it, I realized she reminded me more of an auntie seeing Nishioka Tokuma on TV and going “if only I could get one night with him…” By the way, my own aunt, when she sees him on some beer commercial on the TV, she’ll be going “Oh, I do love my Tokuma… Couldn’t I get just one night with him…?” She’ll be pleading with me. “You’ve appeared with him on some TV shows before, right? Do you think you might ask him for me…?” Naturally, my answer to her is always a resounding “no.“
Real aunties are hardcore like that. They’ll casually drop bombs like “I want to go and have a bit of fun with Furuya Ikkou at an onsen.” Like it’s nothing. It’s like they have no sense of “can I say this?” or “what will people think of me if I say this?” They just don’t care.
Another thing aunties tend to do is pretend to be up-to-date on everything that’s happening, even though they aren’t. “Oh, Utada Hikaru? Sure, I know her.” “Oh, Dragon Ash? Yeah, I know them. They’re that rap group, right? That’s that thing where they speak really fast.” Kominato, too, often uses dead language and phrases that no one in Tokyo would use today. I can’t help but think of that as another one of those everyday, aunt-like slip-ups. In that sense, although Kominato is a true “mom,” character-wise she might fall slightly more into the “auntie” category. Perhaps she ought to be a bit careful about that. Fight, Kominato Miwa!
To anyone reading this who finds themselves thinking “I’m not like the other girls around me — I might be closer to the mom or auntie type,” I would advise you to try and aim especially for that “mom” category. If you’re the mom-type, you will eventually find yourself loved by both men and women alike.
As a final note, I might add that although a motherly woman is good for men, a motherly woman name-wise is a separate issue entirely. That is to say, if a guy starts dating a girl who just happens to have the same first name as his mother…? That’s going to lead to some vaguely complicated feelings for him.