1: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:49:01.59 0.net
3: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:49:38.66 0.net
When the member goes “Hm? What was that?” and brings her face closer to you, you win.
5: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:50:10.19 0.net
That’s me every single time.
21: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:55:17.00 0.net
Fuku-chan moves her face close really close to you. It really surprised me the first time.
11: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:51:15.58 0.net
That’s still better than me who just makes it uncomfortable for everyone by staying completely silent.
13: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:52:20.86 0.net
Yep, this happens.
12: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:51:21.40 0.net
When they just keep asking you to repeat yourself, it seriously makes me feel depressed for a whole week.
14: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:52:20.99 0.net
After learning from the various painful experiences I’ve went through, I now just stick to nodding at them with a smile.
22: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:56:35.42 0.net
Even though it’s obvious I was too quiet for her to hear me, Maimi always pretends like she did anyway.
23: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 21:56:54.93 0.net
I get looked at like I’m someone suspicious. orz
34: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:01:40.87 0.net
“T-t-t-today was fun.” (mumbled)
This is me every time.
36: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:01:50.26 0.net
“Udon? What? Fudo…? Oh, Kudo!”
Dammit I was scared…
41: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:03:31.28 0.net
When I was shaking hands with Tagucchi and no words were coming out, she suddenly started advertising Nama Tamago to me.
44: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:05:42.53 0.net
I’ve previously went “…huh?” because I couldn’t understand what Airi was saying.
49: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:07:03.80 0.net
Kanatomo has given me this kind of reaction like five times already.
It’s instead made me her oshi.
56: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:10:35.93 0.net
I’m always so nervous that afterwards I don’t remember their faces or the feeling of their hands at all. I guess I still lack experience.
63: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:18:18.40 0.net
If you have enough willpower to be able to just stay quiet, that really is the best way to enjoy it.
72: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:27:01.55 0.net
I’m normally never able to have a decent conversation with any of them, but I did once make Inaba Akira burst out laughing.
73: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:27:02.23 0.net
This was with Kudo.
Me: “(mumble mumble mumble)”
Kudo: “Hmm? (laughs) Hmm?! (laughs) What?! (laughs)”
76: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:28:06.69 0.net
It’s so uncomfortable when the person before me is slow in moving on and I want to move because I have nothing to talk about, but I can’t.
87: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:35:50.13 0.net
That’s why I make it a point of never lining up after a girl or a wota who looks like he knows what he’s doing.
77: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:28:59.64 0.net
Me: “ga… ku…” (Please do your best.)
Airi: “(mumble mumble)” (Thank you.)
79: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:30:44.49 0.net
Airi mumbling is a good thing. It means she’s in high spirits.
80: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:30:58.47 0.net
Maimi always earnestly trying to be welcoming even to a piece of shit like me makes me want to cry every single time.
81: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:32:06.79 0.net
I talk in a way that’s difficult to hear on purpose, just to see their reactions.
82: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:32:19.83 0.net
I was being all nervous when all of a sudden she moved her face close to me and went:
川*＾∇＾)||＜ “What’s wrong? (laughs)”
89: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:36:19.31 0.net
Kumai-chan really is so nice, right? I’m just 165cm so when we shook hands, she bended her knees so that her face was on the same level as mine.
I felt so humiliated.
93: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:39:14.94 0.net
Kumai-chan was kind enough to tip her head to the side a little bit for the 176cm me when we took our two-shot picture.
84: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:33:34.34 0.net
The feeling of unpleasantness when you go in all relaxed thinking it’s going to be a really high-speed handshake event and then you find out it’s actually a super laid-back one.
91: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:38:26.31 0.net
I initially started going with the main purpose of shaking their hands, but now the thing I most look forward is just being able to see them from up close while I’m waiting for my turn.
97: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:41:27.99 0.net
Yep, that moment when you get to just wait and see them from that proximity really is ultimate bliss.
99: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:41:57.91 0.net
What do you talk about with them?
101: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:43:13.65 0.net
Like their favorite curry toppings and stuff.
115: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:54:00.19 0.net
It was crazy this one time at Karin-chan’s individual handshake event when my head just went blank and no words would come out, so she leaned in close to me and went “What’s wrong? Did you want to just look at me?”
119: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 22:59:56.27 0.net
The one time I went in with a topic of conversation all thought up in advance, the member started talking to me about something else and I panicked.
120: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:00:59.00 0.net
Been there done that.
136: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:10:51.57 0.net
Meimei was staring at me so intently, I was thinking it might even be okay to kiss her.
137: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:11:26.68 0.net
I’ve gotten so used to the high pace of H!P’s handshake events that I still can’t handle going to other idols’ events.
144: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:20:27.85 0.net
So this is what you guys are talking about, huh.
We have an event for our single today. ♥
I’m sorry if I can’t properly hear some of you guys at the handshake event. (laughs)
Lately I can’t even properly hear what my friends or the other members are saying, but asking everyone to repeat themselves might be annoying so I’ll just reply to you even if I can’t hear you. (laughs)
179: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:46:00.56 0.net
I was thinking all I could muster up would be just a “hello”, but for some reason I found that I could actually hold a conversation with Daaishi. I wonder why?
181: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:46:27.50 0.net
Yeah. The sense of security around Daaishi is something else.
182: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:47:00.53 0.net
Daaishi is like a small animal who just makes you feel completely at ease.
186: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:48:05.08 0.net
When she looks up at you, you can tell Daaishi’s giving her utmost effort to trying to hear you properly.
187: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:48:16.74 0.net
Ishida’s the only one I can joke around with — and she returns the jokes, too. It’s fun.
183: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/11(日) 23:47:03.07 0.net
That same Daaishi gave me this look of “…I have no idea what this guy just said to me.” I might be better off dead.
197: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/12(月) 00:00:57.98 0.net
Seeing the foreign fans’ wildly enthusiastic reactions makes me feel so inexcusable for being in a position myself where I’m able to go meet the members whenever I want.
207: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/12(月) 00:22:52.24 0.net
Even though I’ve only attended five events or so, I was so happy when Miyazaki-san went “ah, nice to see you again!”
202: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/12(月) 00:02:51.79 0.net
I mumbled my words to Oden so bad that I couldn’t even really understand myself what the hell I’d just said to her, but she gave me this huge smile that was like she was saying “oh yeah, I totally get that!” I think she might be an esper.
224: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/12(月) 03:38:44.36 0.net
Idols have a really tough job. Why do they have to listen to the weird things you guys have to say to them, give at least somewhat reasonable responses in return, and keep constant smiles on their faces as they do so?
227: 名無し募集中。。。 2014/05/12(月) 05:15:33.36 0.net
In a way, the modern idol might be the number one most difficult service industry line of work.
How to be awesome at handshake events
(Text: “I tattooed two thousand ‘Airis’ on my body.”)
1: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:30:14.73 ID:0
I expect the sort of advice only you guys can give.
12: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:38:11.32 ID:O
Ignore every single one of the girls.
3: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:33:51.41 ID:0
Start shaking hands with the guys who push you away.
13: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:39:28.30 ID:0
Write “gently push me away from here” around the waist area on the back of your T-shirt.
…I’ve actually seriously seen someone do that before.
21: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:50:44.98 ID:0
Go to a handshake event with both your hands broken.
27: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:57:25.33 ID:0
Suddenly make a flower appear out of your empty hands.
29: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:58:22.14 ID:0
Start radiating from all over your body the moment your hands touch.
34: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:00:34.66 ID:0
Shake hands with all of the wota who are standing at the exit.
35: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:01:40.31 ID:0
Throw a “scissors”, look really proud of your victory, and walk away.
4: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:34:57.26 ID:0
Put a handshake ticket inside a glass, ask the master of the bar to deliver it to the beautiful woman that’s sitting close by and say “the gentleman at that table asked me to give this to you.” When the beautiful woman turns to look your way, give her just the faintest hint of a smile.
9: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/26(日) 23:36:12.55 ID:0
Dammit that’s cool.
36: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:02:14.76 ID:0
Start shaking hands with the guys who usually push you away and instead be pushed away by the H!P members.
39: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:05:57.81 ID:0
Use your left hand only to support their hands.
40: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:07:28.92 ID:0
Whisper into their ear “welcome to the underground…” in English, have a really self-satisfied look on your face, and walk away.
72: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:49:40.42 ID:0
Keep eye contact with the girl you’re shaking hands with even as you start shaking hands with the next girl.
76: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 00:54:51.62 ID:0
Pretend like you’re being pushed away in front of members you don’t care about.
81: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 01:01:50.77 ID:0
Surprise the idols by attaching an artificial arm and letting it fall off when you shake hands with them.
86: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 01:46:49.11 ID:0
Hold a laptop in one hand and keep constantly typing on the other one. Shake hands with the idols while you keep yelling into your cellphone headset what sound like instructions as to what stocks to buy and sell.
79: 名無し募集中。。。 2012/02/27(月) 01:00:18.54 ID:0
Suddenly disappear when the member tries to shake your hand. Say “that was an afterimage” once you’ve somehow reappeared standing behind her without anyone noticing.
Be promptly escorted away by security.
Henkka: >>40 is inspired by perhaps one of the most famous circulating 2ch copypastes. I don’t know if anyone has ever translated it into English, so let me do the honors.
Back in junior high school, we were in computer class and everyone was browsing the internet, just checking out their favorite comics and baseball sites and stuff. Except for me: I decided to show off by showing the people around me ascii art and other stuff from 2ch. When someone asked me “what is this page?“, I replied “it’s like this meeting place of guys you don’t wanna fuck with.” I wanted to teach my friend how to access it himself, so I searched for “2ch” on Yahoo, clicked the first link, and the moment that the top page of 2ch came up on the screen, I whispered into his ear:
“Welcome to the Underground…“