Why are some women so adorable when angry?
I’ve been hearing that in recent times there are more and more girls who will actually get violent with their boyfriends when they get angry at them during fights. That is some scary stuff.
Now, I personally think it’s fine if a girl is, say, kicking up a bit of a racket in the guy’s arms or something, and I think it’s still acceptable if we’re only talking about something on the level of her giving him a good, honest, teary-eyed, open-handed slap. But violently throwing things or seriously hitting someone? That can’t be okay. Being subjected to something like that would surely make the guy quickly start losing his feelings for her.
Guys do not like it when girls are angry. Every guy would rather have the girl in their life always be in a good mood. However, there are some girls such as Morning Musume’s Iida Kaori who actually come across as adorable or funny when they get angry — to the point where TV hosts will try to make her angry on purpose. If you happen to be someone like that, I think that’s pretty great.
Iida is one of those girls who everyone would agree has lovely facial features. And yet, those TV hosts will pick up on the smallest changes in her facial expression and they’ll say things like “she has a scary look on her face!” or “oh no, Iida’s angry!” They poke fun at her like that, trying to make her even more angry. While Iida herself is not aware of this fact, the reason they all do that to her is because her being angry is actually one of her charms. I consider it one of her talents. It’s never an unpleasant type of angry with her.
I believe the reason the mood never spoils even when Iida does get angry is because she doesn’t just start venting out of selfishness. She’s someone who is very serious and passionate, so she wants to fully understand what you’re saying and she wants you to get where she’s coming from, too, so she has a tendency of getting worked up over all sorts of things. But the things she gets angry over can be very girly and trivial, so it’s all just very innocent and fun to see. And really, seeing her getting so seriously angry all the time just makes her come across as cute.
It might surprise you to know that Iida is actually a very earnest person, and she’s usually the calmest member of the group. Even when some sudden announcement is made in regards to the group, she just takes it in stride. “Hmm. Well, it can’t be helped then, I guess.“
But there are certain things that can send her flying into a rage. Something will happen and it’s something she should just laugh off, but once that fire inside her has been lit, she simply can’t laugh it off. For example, one time they were shooting some kind of a contest for a TV show and the host made some quick jab about how Iida’s fashion “looked weird.” She just went, “but I thought it looked good on me…” She was fuming. It caused her to become withdrawn to her own thoughts as she kept repeatedly asking herself, “What’s weird about it? What’s weird about it? What’s weird about it?” As the host moved on and started talking to other members about something else, he noticed Iida spacing out.
“Hey, are you listening?!”
“What? My clothes aren’t weird.”
“We’re not talking about your clothes anymore!“
Iida doesn’t get provoked by the same kinds of things as normal people, and she has this strange seriousness about her as well. That’s something that really makes her stand out, and it could be what makes her such funny watching for the rest of us. Also, Iida is never trying to play stupid on purpose. There are plenty of female talents who will deliberately try to play the airhead character and while it can be funny at first, it gets tiring fast. Iida isn’t like that.
Her having a different perspective than everyone else is something that becomes apparent even within the context of Morning Musume when she gives her interpretations of their songs. When the group is appearing on a TV show and they’re asked what their new song is like, Iida’s explanations always make the other members react in utter disbelief. “Huuuh?!“
I’ve always felt that Iida’s interpretations of the songs are in no way incorrect. True, the other members all give mostly similar interpretations of the songs, definitely placing Iida’s opinions in the minority. But I really don’t mind: I think it’s fine for the person singing to make the song be about what they want, just as the listeners are all free to imagine their own situations based on the lyrics. There is no reason that the songwriter, singer, and listener all need to share the same interpretation of a song, and I think it would be wrong of the songwriter or the singer to try to force their interpretation of the song to the listener. And as there are some listeners who support Iida’s interpretations, that makes her a very important part of the group as well as a strong ally for me. The fact that there’s someone like Iida in the group gives them that much more variation in their expression, and she gives the listeners yet another way of enjoying what the group has to offer.
When you’re watching Iida on TV, she might come across as someone extremely emotional. And while there is some truth to that, I think that kind of passion is actually a good thing, and Iida actually has a lot of common sense — she can discern quite well when it’s okay for her to let that passion run wild and when it isn’t. You hear rumors about other talents for whom that extreme emotionality manifests in them having an ugly temper backstage; throwing things; dragging people by their hair… Iida is a completely different type from girls like that.
However, she does have a bit of that girly covetousness in her. There are things that make one think “come on, just let the other person have that,” but she just can’t help herself. For example, if someone gets complimented on the clothes they’re wearing, Iida will see that and go “I want to be complimented, too!” She’ll start making a big deal about her fashion all day long. Then, if someone else gets complimented on their hair, Iida will start thinking about nothing but her hair.
She must hate it if she feels like someone else is being praised for something she’s good at, too. That kind of thing about her makes me think about how girly and cute she is. Besides, I personally don’t feel that it’s to the point of it being a problem — it’s just a bit of self-assertiveness that any normal girl might have. Look at any average class in school and I’m sure you’d find lots of girls who are a lot more extreme about it than her.
One time, the members got angry at me about Iida.
Tanpopo were appearing on Music Station along with Utada Hikaru. Me and the rest of the members were watching it on the TV, and they would all be saying what they had on their minds. “Ahh, I wish I could see Utada Hikaru up-close, too!” “I bet Ayappe’s having her picture taken with her and acting all excited!” “Maybe Kaori will get along with her really well and they’ll leave the studio together?“
So I made a joke. “You know what’d be funny? Imagine if Iida took Utada aside backstage and she was going all “don’t get cocky just because you’ve had a bit of success lately!”” The members got so angry at me because of my joke. “Kaori would never say something like that! She would just talk to her normally and become friends with her! She’s an innocent person!“
Ultimately, it was Yaguchi who came back looking the most excited. Ishiguro, not so much. And Iida, of course, did not try to intimidate Utada like I had joked — apparently she couldn’t find the right timing, and so they never spoke a word to each other.
The real Iida is more lovable than one might gather from her TV image. Case in point, whenever something a bit silly slips out of her mouth on a TV appearance, she’ll feel down about it for a good two or three days. Moreover, when Iida is told what she needs to do the following day, she will always practice for it earnestly… but even if there is a sudden schedule change, she will never say, “Why?! But I practiced so hard for this!” For anyone else, it’s only natural that they’d have at least minor complaints. Inside her mind, Iida probably is going “huuuh?!” like the rest of them. Her face turns into a big question mark. But she won’t say the words.
Iida isn’t the type who can just “wing it” when they’re already on-location — she has to get ready and practice the day prior. I’m sure it’s quite a shock to her when there is one of those sudden schedule changes. But you won’t hear her saying “why?” or “what am I going to do?” Iida simply does her best to be able to achieve what is wanted of her. To me, that’s another thing that’s very admirable about her. She will almost never get angry or become emotional about anything work-related. She always thinks constructively before she does anything.
Even when there’s something she can’t completely sign off on, she’ll nevertheless keep trying to come to terms with it to the best of her ability. She never runs away from things she doesn’t like.
For example, when “Summer Night Town” was released, I’d made a comment about how Abe and Fukuda were going to be the main featured members on it. Because of that, the TV cameras would be focused mostly on them. So then with “Daite HOLD ON ME!,” I made the solo lines “nee waratte” and “um hold on me” for Iida. She might have been thinking how she wanted to sing more as the main vocalist like the others had. But she didn’t start sulking. She didn’t start throwing things. She didn’t become emotional. I made an order for those lines from her. “This is something only you can express, Iida, so do it for me.” We went into recording, gave a couple of cracks at it, and I do believe I was able to create the best form of Iida from those takes.
As a result, when you now see someone doing an imitation of that song, there’s always a close-up of the person doing Iida’s lines. That was all thanks to Iida overcoming a hardship and winning.
Even when it comes to ordinary office ladies, the ones who are generally considered to be capable at their jobs usually won’t throw temper tantrums, even if they’re highly passionate people. That’s not to say they don’t pour their enthusiasm and emotions into their work — that’s totally different. But when you lose your temper at work, it’s no wonder people will think you’re immature. Being assertive when you need to be or becoming hotheaded is fine, but if the other person thinks “sheesh, this person has completely snapped,” you need to rethink your methods of conveying thoughts to people.
Speaking of things that are different about Iida as compared to her TV image, she’s clearly the most “old man-like” among the members. She might look like something out of a fairy tale when she’s standing up, but off-screen she’s actually the type to always be sitting cross-legged on the floor. I think of her and Ishiguro as being the two prominent old men of Morning Musume. When we’re in recording and she’s finished, she’ll be sleeping on the studio sofa with her mouth hanging open.
And she’s so perceptive, too. Ultimately, Iida doesn’t regulate the way she conducts herself according to what people might be thinking of her — she’s simply someone who expresses herself in the purest way possible. That’s why you can’t hate her, no matter what she does.
Even when she does get angry, people don’t get annoyed with her — they like her for it even more.
However, girls who could call “becoming angry” their charm point — like Iida — are exceedingly rare. On the contrary: a lot of girls completely screw up in the way they get angry.
When a girl is angry at her boyfriend, it will sometimes be out of selfishness or assertiveness. Their anger may be born out of a sort of narcissism. But, assuming it doesn’t go too far, this kind of anger is something that the guy may still find cute.
On the other hand, the more serious the girl is, the more she tends to be driven by a sense of justice. Say the guy breaks a promise to his girlfriend, or she catches him in a lie, or he betrays a friend. I would think most girls would no doubt be very angry at their boyfriend for things like that. However, if you value your relationship with your boyfriend, it might not be in your best interest in that situation to calmly say only the “correct things,” to corner him, and to leave him with no way out. In some ways, it can be a saving grace for the guy if he can rationalize it as “oh, she’s being emotional about this” as he sees his girlfriend being visibly angry with him. And if he can do that, he’ll actually listen obediently to what she’s telling him.
Personally, while I do not like it when a girl is in a bad temper and she’s picking a fight with me… if she’s being angry at me with affection and zeal, I will listen properly to what she has to say. And I’m not thinking “God, just shut up” either.
Even if the girl loses her temper and she’s crying her eyes out as she’s being angry with me, and I’m sitting there thinking “man, this sucks…” If only she fawns on me in a really cute way after she’s done being angry, I can forget all about it. Even if she’s not the type who would normally do so, if she approaches me from behind after our fight, puts her hands over my eyes, and says “guess who?“… While my initial thought might be that she’s being annoying, I will nevertheless soon find myself thinking about how cute she is. Suddenly, I’ll have no choice but to forgive her.