1: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 01:37:39.15 0.net
(Note: English transcript below.)
Moshi Moshi, Momochi desu
This is the corner where I call my listeners and speak with them one-on-one. […] The first person I’m calling goes by the nickname of Hatsukoi Cola. He’s from the prefecture of Kyoto. He writes that he has “something important” he needs to discuss with me that “affects his entire life.” Well, let’s call him then!
L: … Yes?
M: It’s Momochi!
L: Wait, for real?
L: Seriously? … Good evening.
M: Good evening. This is Momochi.
M: What? Are you disappointed?! (laughs)
L: No. This feels like a miracle.
M: That’s right! You’re speaking with Momochi herself! Were you asleep?
L: No, I was awake…
M: What were you doing?
L: I was eating lunch.
M: I see. What was on your menu?
L: Chilled pasta.
M: Chilled pasta?! That’s pretty fancy. Oh, by the way, I read your email. In it you said there’s a girl you’ve liked for quite some time now. You wrote that you think about her so much, you can’t even properly concentrate on studying for your exams. So you’re that in love with someone?!
L: That’s right.
M: Let’s hear some details!
M: What kind of a girl is she? Tell us all about her.
L: Well, I’ve liked her for about five years now…
M: Ooh, five years! That’s great! And?
L: Um… that’s it.
M: (laughs) Aren’t you being kind of cold to me?!
M: Oh well. What should we call this girl? Hmm… Let’s give her the nickname of “Chinami-chan.” So what about Chinami-chan made you like her?
L: Her endless cheerfulness.
M: Her “endless cheerfulness…” That actually fits Chinami-chan pretty well. (laughs) I see. So when did you first feel that you liked her?
L: It was from the time I first set my eyes on her.
M: Wait, so you’re saying it was love at first sight?! That actually happens in real life?!
L: Yes. Have you never experienced it yourself?
M: Momochi is everyone’s idol — I’ve never been in love.
L: So that’s how you’re going to play it…
M: (laughs) That’s how it is, yes. And, so, what? You can’t even study properly because of this girl?
L: Yes. That especially is a big problem for me.
M: So now you’re in… around your third year of high school perhaps?
L: No, I’m between high school and university.
M: Ah. How old are you?
L: I’m 19.
M: 19? So you’re younger than me.
M: I see. How should I advise you on this matter…? Well, is there any chance this girl could also have feelings for you?
L: No. That’s 100% impossible.
M: No chance at all?!
M: Why? Does she have a boyfriend?
L: I don’t really know.
M: Do you exchange emails with her?
L: I don’t. But it’s not that I actually want this love to come to fruition — at this point I really just want to forget about her to be honest.
M: Huh?! You want to forget about her?! Even though you’ve liked her for five long years?
L: Um… is it okay to say something?
M: Go ahead.
L: The girl I like… it’s actually you.
M: …… Oooh…! Okay… How should I react to this? (laughs) I had no idea it was me you were talking about! (laughs) I see. So you want to forget about me?
M: But, you see, unfortunately I’ve already called you — it’s probably going to be next to impossible for you to forget about me now…
L: I’d already forgotten about you a little bit though.
M: Wait. What?! Is it just me or are you being really cold towards me for some reason?! Anyway, yeah, continue.
L: I want to hate you.
M: You want to hate me?
M: I see… Um. So maybe if I go like, “I hate you!“, maybe that would make you hate me as well…? (laughs)
L: I’m actually pretty serious about this being a real problem for me.
M: Ah, so you’re saying I need to think about this more seriously, too, right? But, you know, I have to be honest: I don’t really want you to hate me. I can’t deny that.
M: By the way, what was it about me that made you fall in love with me at first sight?
L: I thought you were really cute in the music video to “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!“
M: Ah! I was really cute in that one.
L: They captured you really well in that PV.
M: Wait, so, what, does that mean I’m not as cute outside of that PV?
L: No no no, you were just especially cute there.
M: Oh, okay. So I just scored a clean hit with that PV. Well, what should we do about this problem?
L: Huh? Do I have to think up a solution myself?
M: Okay, yeah, I can’t ask you that… But hey. You’re making this out to be this really dark problem for you when in fact your original email was really upbeat and had loads and loads of smileys. I didn’t realize it was something this serious.
L: Ah, really?
M: Just, try not to overthink it. Do you attend our live concerts and stuff, by the way?
L: I do.
M: What you should do is just come to our concert and be all like “ah, I really love Momochi…” Then you go home, you switch those feelings off and you concentrate on studying.
L: Yes, I know that’s what I should do. What I’m saying is: I can’t.
M: Don’t be so angry at me! (laughs) This isn’t easy for me either, you know! Well… okay, how about I send you some words of support?
L: Okay, yeah. I’m fine with that.
M: You’re “fine” with that?!?
L: I mean, this is getting long so maybe we should wrap this up…
M: “This is getting long“?! You’re making it sound like I’m somehow forcing you to speak to me! Okay, okay. Fine. Here’s your Momochi yell of support. Momochi, Momochi, mochi mochi Momochi! Waah! Well?
L: … It worked.
M: You’re lying. (laughs)
L: No, I’m satisfied.
M: Thank you.
13: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 03:57:58.23 O.net
3: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 01:57:03.64 0.net
This is so painful to listen to. (laughs)
2: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 01:38:12.68 0.net
This is sad.
4: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 02:03:32.85 0.net
Funny but painful. (laughs)
5: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 02:21:14.49 0.net
So this is what they meant by true love type fans.
8: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 02:41:20.76 0.net
This was so gross I laughed.
9: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 03:06:02.01 0.net
You can hear the disgust in Momoko’s voice when he reveals that it’s her the guy likes. (laughs)
11: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 03:28:24.09 0.net
Gross. That said, I do feel jealous of this wota.
12: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 03:55:51.18 0.net
I’ve had a live phone call with my oshi — my 2nd oshi to be exact. But even though she is only my 2nd oshi I’m still deeply in love with her so I was super nervous.
14: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 03:58:31.25 0.net
You’re in love with her even though she’s only your 2nd oshi? You’re weird. How do you sleep at night?
6: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/03/31(火) 02:25:58.27 0.net
It’s amazing how obvious it is that this guy is still a virgin.
“Wota who ask me if it’s okay to oshi-hen,
they have no intention of actually doing so.
They just want me to beg them to stick with me.”
1: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 16:54:19.60 0.net
Top Yell, May edition / “Oshiete, Momochi-senpai”
Tsugunaga Momoko: “The people who ask me at handshake events if it’s okay for them to oshi-hen to some other member, what they really want me to do is just beg and plead them not to do so. I know they still love me. Once you’ve really fallen in love with someone, it’s going to take something pretty major to make that love disappear.”
12: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:06:15.63 0.net
She totally gets it.
16: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:10:33.21 0.net
She sees right through them.
7: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 16:59:30.63 0.net
Yeah, it’s the same as with the guys on Twitter who shout about how they’re going to quit being a wota. A week or two later, they’re back to posting reports straight from the venue.
28: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:52:20.94 0.net
There are people out there who ask the members if it’s okay to oshi-hen? (laughs) You’re kidding. I mean… really?! (laughs)
29: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:53:59.73 0.net
There probably are, yeah.
26: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:37:00.25 0.net
What Momochi means to say is: the people who do oshi-hen just go for it without making a fuss about it.
13: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:07:11.54 0.net
Just proves how kind-hearted Momochi is, the way she didn’t end her sentence with “…so stop fucking asking me that question.“
10: 名無し募集中。。。 2015/04/06(月) 17:04:01.90 0.net
Momochi is so cute when she’s right.
Henkka: Next time a friend asks me to help them with a house move, I’ll just give them a Henkka yell of support instead.